Up and Down

There is comfort in up
the sun rising each morning
looking up to the boss
of this elite high-ranking firm
even though I stroke his ego
to keep him from falling on me
because up is like sunshine
like light
and I am down here
swimming in freezing cold water
in the dark
there is a crack of light
but I'm terrified
you will close the door
and I'll be left all alone
in the dark
with myself
not even seeing
my own reflection
so I close the door
I don't trust you to save me
I cry because my light will never shine
and my tears drown my torch